Would someone have fancy for a personal
meeting? l would like to meet with anyone 
on the site so if someone who lives closer 
to me would have the courage and fancy 
for going out and come over  that would be nice. 
l can provide meal  for a week or so and 
accommodation to those  who don't need to stay 
in their chair all day ( as l have only a small space 
what is unfortunately not enough for a wheelchair
 in the house) l would like to have friends
 in the real life too from this site if it is possible 
and l am interested in who are behind the walls
of the profile photos actually, l would like to get to
 know you in person too. l also can travell  if you can't
or don't have the mood and  l have some freetime 
so if you have fancy, please drop me a mail 
and we will organize it. At least l hope so...

l uploaded some pics about the Christmas meeting
where l was yesterday, it was a pleasant meeting 
with some programs, such as making postcards, 
painting glasses and doing other useful gifts for
Christmas, it was spicied with a nice dinner and 
for finish crowned with an evening mass.

Tonight...
we have had the first snowfalling.
l watched from the cosy warm room
how the strong wind sweeps the enormous
heavy snowflakes along the pitch black
night scene and l had to acknowledge
that the sight of the dense whirlabout can fill
me with silent rapture again as it does every
time when the first snow falls down.
The snowflakes brought back some
heavy memories about

that winter...

When the world still was much safer and quite different
and when my mother was alive. As l sat at the window,
suddenly a thought slid into my mind, a picture
as l bought a pot of red cyclamen to her
and the smile on her face as she
recieved it. The memory was just sneaking back from
the dense snowing unexpectedly and like a photograph,
remained in my mind, as the only one happy moment in
our life when l was really happy as l could steal
a little joy into her miserable life which was full
of pain and suffering and  may be the only
one moment when l saw her smiling.
Thinking about this memory l have just realized
that l would love to buy many many of red flowers
to her to make her happy, but in vain.
l won't be able to do it anymore.
This is the worse about her death.
That l can not buy red cyclamens to her
never again anymore neither to anyone else in my life.
In vain l would love to...
Only the vast distress has been eating my soul instead.
Red petals falling onto the white ground slowly...

l apology to those who think so l had hurt them.

l am absolutely sure, this could happen only 
inadvertently and it took for a long time to me
to come to terms with the wrong accusations from
those persons as l am very sensitive so l can not 
take ANY kind of unjustify things easily
mostly if those affect me so seriously like these were.
l would prefer let bygones be bygones but that is
not so easy as it seems to be as l am always very 
lonely emotionally and l am supposed to solve 
loads of other problems too in my personal life and 
l do not miss any prejudicement or misunderstanding
on the thewheellife- as one of the reasons to me 
being on this site to get some emotionally 
encouragement when l feel too exhausted
and although l am not in a wheelchair 
l have my own weaknesses in soul and in body too
with what l have the hardest difficulties to live without
being a devotee or something worse...
And now let me ask an apology
from those who don't like my pictures as l have 
just uploaded some. And if someone has a problem
with me that would be nice if they let ME know firstly
"face to face" as however strange it is, 
l am also made of human and l am so very very tired...

Yes it is September again...
I don't know how it is with you but it always makes me
into a bad mood to care how l should insulate
the doors and how many coal should l buy, so preparing
for nasty days of winter is never a cheerful thing to me.
I can say it even turns me down a little...
Fortunately we can still enjoy some sunny days
of the late Autumn.