Well last Saturday I went to a close friends wedding...... it was the first time for a lot of people to see me since my accident 22 months ago, and wasn't sure what a reception I'd get, but suffice to say except for 2 that I knew would be "very cold" and would only tolerate me there, everyone else where fantastic. however although I had a brilliant day, good company, good Welsh food, traditional Welsh singing and socializing, I really had a marvellous time until 11pm. The next thing I knew it was 5am and I was in the local hospital, if I didn't know better I'd say that I'd been "given" something, or had my drink spiked, .... ....  I have never ever been like this, I can drink for Wales and p for BritiaN, .........the problem was I'd forgotten my tramadol and Baclofen when going to the wedding and so asked mam if I could have some of hers, she'd misplaced her tramadol and only had paracetamols,  anyhow 3 bottles of wine, champagne, mead and 6 x 500mg of parcetamols DO NOT MIX, I was fine until about 11o clock, however I don't remember anything after that, only that I awoke in Glan Clwyd hospital the worse for wear, Aled my youngest (not amused) brother informed me the following day, that I was trying to transfer into their car, when I fell, he had to get 2 of his mates (still a big mama, albeit 5 and half stone lighter!) to lift me up as he'd forgotten about the "scoop" procedure, then had to call an ambulance just in case, and more than anything apparently I was quite nasty to one fo the nurses in A&E, she was quite sharp and short to everyone (according to Aled) and I was quite nasty to her...... I'm SO EMBARRASSED and ASHAMED....I prided myself for never ever being nasty with the nurses and staff throughout my 6 months stay at the time of my accident, but here I am being told by my little brother that I'd been nasty, I can't believe it.....of all nights and places. I've drank a few times since my accident and been fine, even with Tramadol, ok the bladder wasn't good but the mind and what is left of the body where fine.  But also what's upset me is the Oriel House Hotel and leant me a blanket (we had NOT stolen it) as I was so cold and they wouldn't give the bride and groom their £400 deposit back until we delivered this cheap blanket back to them, if they hadn't given it to us, then,. u could understand however......, and they wouldn't even wait until today, they needed the blanket back before they'd give them the money so Dona the bride's sister had to do an hour and halt trip to come all the way here and then drive to the Hotel and back home yesterday afternoon, or they wouldn't have the cash to help towards their spends for the honeymoon in Canada,....... I feel awful, I can't get up as my right hand is so painful I can't push the b. chair on this carpet, I've had smaller wheels but the brakes don't work as well.........  so the moral of this, never ever invite me to a wedding.... lol   I know I can only apologise and you can't change the past however doesn't stop me blushing., feeling embarrassed and ashamed, the ladette in me came back, even though I've never been as bad as that before, scary. Half a woman... can't cope anymore..  I had a terrible pain yesterday and just took one of the paracetamols and they immediately upset my stomach, so that's made me feel a bit better, not a lot but.......

Hope you're all well,

take care, keep smiling

Meira x :}

WELL, I'VE PAID A VERY HIGH PRICE FOR MY BIG MISTAKE/ERROR, NOT ONLY HAVE I LOST MY LOVE INTEREST AS HE WAS SO DISGUSTED, THE BRIDE AND HER SISTER, TWO OF MY BEST FRIENDS, CAN'T FORGIVE ME...... I'M SO LOW. LOWEST THAT I'VE BEEN SINCE THE ACCIDENT, DON'T SEE ANY REASON TO CARRY ON.  THE LONELYNESS, THE PAIN, THE SPASMS, NOT WALKING, NOT SLEEPING, HEADACHES FROM THE MEDICATION, BLADDER AND BOWEL PROBS...... DON'T C THE POINT ANYMORE.......