Between the pain, the wheelchair, the lack of life and the wait for my home to be adapted, I've had enough, just seems to be one thing after the other, I can hardly sit in my chair for more than 2 hrs now, the pain is horrendous, and as soon as I eat I feel sick, (not a bad thing says u , the fat cow) .. Don't seem to have anything to look forward to anymore. Although I did have a lovely invite to a December wedding at a local Hotel, anyhow phoned them up about access, and they said once I got inside I'd be fine, but I rememberred from going there before my accident that there was a narrow hall way to the toilet areas, when I said I needed 31 inches (lol no not like that, chance would be a fine thing ) she measured the hall way to the toilets and yes I could get down there, and I asked her about the width of the toilet door and alas the story of my life, too narrow at only 28 inches, but she spoke to the owners, and as I don't "require" a toilet, I could have a screen and use a sort of room under the big stairway to sort myself out as and when required throughout the day (I was satisfied with this as a friend of mine had been to a wedding a few weeks ago and had to go to the car park to sort her self out all day and night!) What about getting in, the last time I'd been there I was able bodied but remembered they had 3 lots of small steps outside the main entrance, anyhow she said they'd had new steps put there, but was sure I could get up them with help., or there where a few steps before the ramp?? This puzzled me, but she explained they where used to disabled people who could get out of their chairs for short periods fo time, so off went Mam and I on an expidition to see the step ramps, on arrival the front steps have been redone and are now lovely looking but there are about 12 steep steps, so steep that my mother had to have help to come back down them. A kind receptionist came out to see me in the car and explained that they "may" be getting a ramp but that would be at the side steps, we had a look at them and albeit there where only 6, due to the severeness fo the angle, I think the ramp will be too steep and to adjust and would block the gateway/drive out of there. So have resigned myself that I won't be attending my cousins wedding.. and there I was with a new dress and actually found some nice modern shoes as well lol !! Oh well........... its incredible how the "get out clause" on old buildings covers so many properties in our area when it comes to them putting ramps/lifts in for us the disabled.
Hi there.... well it's over 7 months since my wheelchair services have given me the go ahead for a new wheelchair, (although it's actually 21 months since I was first referred to them as my first chair wasn't suitable from day one) Imagine my dismay when yesterday I received a letter only to inform me that the wheelchair I wanted isn't available in my size The Kuschell Champion only goes up to 17" and I need an 18" it's all male orientated as u men have the nice narrow hips...... anyhow have tried the Quickie Neon and it doesn't suit me at all, one with the transferring side and the other I can't fold it myself , if I lived wiht someone then it might not be such a big problem but alas Im trying to be as independant as ;possible. So please , ;please can you recommend a chair (NOT A BOX FRAME) that is lightweight, strong, easy to fold for transfers into the drivers side of the car and is easy to pack in the boot.......... Somebody mentioned the Da Vinci one's but apparently they're expensive and I can't get any info on the web on them.. maybe its my Welsh spelling , hope you're all ok, sorry to bother you but I need a new chair to get a car, and so to be able to get on with my life ........ as this monster the GPV Quickie 19.5 kilos , 21 inches is killing me ..... mentally and physcially
I've just been watching a programme on television, called "footprints in the snow" and following the true story of a very brave lady called Julie Hill and seeing her trying to adjust to life as a paraplegic following a car accident, and the effects it had on her marriage. The last time I watched it, I was normal, I wasn't a T12 Complete, and I still cried (big softy that I am). Thank God we don't know what lies ahead for us...
It's brilliantly acted as it is with Caroline Quentin and Kevin Whately, oh how it's touched me even more now than before....... 2 years to today, since my accident, remembering how I was before, remembering the pain during the accident, the pain that I have now all day, the indignity of first catheters, and daily manual evacuations by kind nurses (remembering to leave my dignity on the door when in hospital lol), my first spasm, only a few seconds after my fall (ouch to put it mildly) my last one just a few minutes ago, (like my body thinks I'll forget what it's like) my hope that there will be a miracle cure one day that I'll walk, seeing her go through electrodes and operations trying to walk again, seeing them failing to get close to each other, mentally as well as physically. Seeing their love win through... having somebody with you through it all. Being tough on yourself, helping yourself, carrying on, when you really don't want to. Not just remembering life before the accident but living now......... I may not make footprints in the snow ever again, but I'll leave proud tyre marks as I've come this far and I'm still here, changed but here, thanks to medical staff, family and friends and a little bit of stubborness
Well last Saturday I went to a close friends wedding...... it was the first time for a lot of people to see me since my accident 22 months ago, and wasn't sure what a reception I'd get, but suffice to say except for 2 that I knew would be "very cold" and would only tolerate me there, everyone else where fantastic. however although I had a brilliant day, good company, good Welsh food, traditional Welsh singing and socializing, I really had a marvellous time until 11pm. The next thing I knew it was 5am and I was in the local hospital, if I didn't know better I'd say that I'd been "given" something, or had my drink spiked, .... .... I have never ever been like this, I can drink for Wales and p for BritiaN, .........the problem was I'd forgotten my tramadol and Baclofen when going to the wedding and so asked mam if I could have some of hers, she'd misplaced her tramadol and only had paracetamols, anyhow 3 bottles of wine, champagne, mead and 6 x 500mg of parcetamols DO NOT MIX, I was fine until about 11o clock, however I don't remember anything after that, only that I awoke in Glan Clwyd hospital the worse for wear, Aled my youngest (not amused) brother informed me the following day, that I was trying to transfer into their car, when I fell, he had to get 2 of his mates (still a big mama, albeit 5 and half stone lighter!) to lift me up as he'd forgotten about the "scoop" procedure, then had to call an ambulance just in case, and more than anything apparently I was quite nasty to one fo the nurses in A&E, she was quite sharp and short to everyone (according to Aled) and I was quite nasty to her...... I'm SO EMBARRASSED and ASHAMED....I prided myself for never ever being nasty with the nurses and staff throughout my 6 months stay at the time of my accident, but here I am being told by my little brother that I'd been nasty, I can't believe it.....of all nights and places. I've drank a few times since my accident and been fine, even with Tramadol, ok the bladder wasn't good but the mind and what is left of the body where fine. But also what's upset me is the Oriel House Hotel and leant me a blanket (we had NOT stolen it) as I was so cold and they wouldn't give the bride and groom their £400 deposit back until we delivered this cheap blanket back to them, if they hadn't given it to us, then,. u could understand however......, and they wouldn't even wait until today, they needed the blanket back before they'd give them the money so Dona the bride's sister had to do an hour and halt trip to come all the way here and then drive to the Hotel and back home yesterday afternoon, or they wouldn't have the cash to help towards their spends for the honeymoon in Canada,....... I feel awful, I can't get up as my right hand is so painful I can't push the b. chair on this carpet, I've had smaller wheels but the brakes don't work as well......... so the moral of this, never ever invite me to a wedding.... lol I know I can only apologise and you can't change the past however doesn't stop me blushing., feeling embarrassed and ashamed, the ladette in me came back, even though I've never been as bad as that before, scary. Half a woman... can't cope anymore.. I had a terrible pain yesterday and just took one of the paracetamols and they immediately upset my stomach, so that's made me feel a bit better, not a lot but.......
Hope you're all well,
take care, keep smiling
Meira x :}
WELL, I'VE PAID A VERY HIGH PRICE FOR MY BIG MISTAKE/ERROR, NOT ONLY HAVE I LOST MY LOVE INTEREST AS HE WAS SO DISGUSTED, THE BRIDE AND HER SISTER, TWO OF MY BEST FRIENDS, CAN'T FORGIVE ME...... I'M SO LOW. LOWEST THAT I'VE BEEN SINCE THE ACCIDENT, DON'T SEE ANY REASON TO CARRY ON. THE LONELYNESS, THE PAIN, THE SPASMS, NOT WALKING, NOT SLEEPING, HEADACHES FROM THE MEDICATION, BLADDER AND BOWEL PROBS...... DON'T C THE POINT ANYMORE.......
