So here's the thing. I got invited to a party in Devon, well Teignmouth to be more acurate and it is in August this year. Big planners my friends but then I suppose you know when you are going to be 50!! So this is great and of course I want to go. They have a big house but you know a 50th birthday means you have got to invite all you living and half dead realtives (after all you could be next!) so they have no room at their house but send me the link to the tourist info place in town. So I search their site for some accessible accommodation. I search everything on their site and come up with nothing. So I think I will use other searches to find something, "disabled accessible accommodation"....nothing..."wheelchair accessible hotels"....zero...."Accessible hotels"...da nada..."Accessatlast""Ineedaholidaytoo" "disabled direct"  You think of it I tried it. I found places fifty miles away, I found Holiday Inn for £109 per night and Travel Lodge for £75 but all are miles away. So I ring the tourist office and a cheery voice answers "Teignmouth Tourist Office, this is Gary speaking can I help you?" Well I hoped he would and I explain the simple request of wheelchair accessible accommodation with an accessible shower, "Nah we haven't got anything like that" Now I am surprised after all they are the tourist people who represent their town and they have nothing. So I asked are you sure and he said "No there's nothing like that round here". Now I am curious and "I say I want to come to your town and spend money there and you are telling me that there is nowhere for me to stay" and he just answers "Yes" Now thinking out of the box, I say perhaps there is somewhere nearby that he can recommend but you have guessed it the answer is NO. Okay think wider, what about the county tourist office and he says that it is in County Hall but they wont be able to help because they don't deal with accommodation. So I ask about the next town and of course he doesn't deal with them either but my goodness he does actually have their number which he graciously supplies and I say I would like to thank him but he has been completely and utterly useless!

So I call Torquay, the next town (9 miles away) and the very pleasant Leanne answers with the usual shpeeel and "Can I help you?" So I say I hope so because the lot in Teignmouth are useless and she is upset and tells me not to call her useless which so far I have resisted. I explain my little problem, wheels not legs, and she immediately tells me of an 80 bedroomed hotel 5 miles from Teighmouth that has ten (yes that is 10!) wheelchair accessible rooms which they inspected just two weeks ago. I click on the website and low and behold there it is beautiful and totally accessible. I would like to say a big "THANK YOU LEANNE" now I just have to book it which will be my job tomorrow morning.

We had to rush out to lunch so I didn't have time earlier. Anyway we just got back and it is 11 pm so I think booking up just now would not be a good idea best wait till tomorrow.

And as to lunch which was at 12.30 it was great. I was the driver so have been on the tea or coke (a cola type) since about 2.00 pm but Mark has been on the pop and as I am writing this in the study he is now snoring his head off in the bed. Light on door open in case he wakes up and starts call for Ruth and Hewey. Please don't let him be sick on the white wall paper!!!!!

This moving away business is good for your larder, everyone wants to cook for you and have farewell dinners and push loads of booze down your neck. I will be amazed if in the next 21 days we don't double in size!!

Anyway the drunker the others all got the wilder the ideas became.  No accessible accommodation?  Well there must be some so lets go and find it and gather it all together in a website and charge a load of money to advertise on the site and become dotcom millionaires.  Well I explain this has already been tried and obviously there isn't anywhere in Teignmouth.  So we then decided that we would write to Ben Fogle and Monty Don, Stannah Stairlifts and Tramper buggies and do a world tour of accommodation on a fabulous telly programme and we would be seen staying in tents along the way, with huge winibago hiding behind the scenes and at the end of the final programme I could jump out of my chair and run around.  Well this was far fetched so we then decided that we could do a round the world trip cooking roast dinners along the way, you know duck in Peking, Lamb in New Zealand, Kangaroo in Oz, Alligator in Louisianna.  We fantisized about travelling by Tuctuc across America but finally I thought it would be best to do a trip that involved First class travel and 5 star hotels, after all they have got to have some accessible space haven't they!!!

Watch out for the show "Fat Fiona's Fabulous First Class Adventure on Wheels", Ann and Ivan have promised to have at least one arguement on each show for the abled bodied interest!!

CAN ANYONE HELP ME?

I am having the most awful spasms. For the last two days (I know it isn't a life time but when you can't slee it seems like forever) I have had neurogenic pain +++ in my legs and very painful spasming in my left leg. No toes nails, no sores, no constipation or urinary problems, nothing to see or feel. The spasms are really bad turning my ankle into inversion so bad it looks like a break is inevitable.

I take baclofen and dantrium, both twice daily and clomazepam normally 10 drops at night, plus amitryptiline 15 drops at night for pain. I have increase the baclofen to three daily and the clomazepam to 15 drops but the spasms are back. I don't fancy spending another night awake and over dosed with drugs so that when I eventually do fall asleep I don't wake up till noon the following day.

My consultant gave me the clomazepam because the spasming worried him so much, his comment was that a break would happen eventually as I mentioned above. I am not sure how much I can safely increase the dose to. It is in liquid form 2.5 mg in 1 ml so any suggestions on how to cope with this would be greatly received. Are you out there Rob? Perhaps as a nurse (like me) you might be able to make some suggestions or know a man who can.

I would love to hear some responses..

Fifi

Well the days are passing by pretty quickly now towards our big move and we are planning all the things that we have to do.  Moving when you are able bodies is  stressful and a big  thing, but be ing disabled your priorities are all different.  I am not worried about the furniture or my blanket boxes, getting registered with a doctor.  Will the surgery be accessible and what will the doctor be like, will he/she understand my problems and will I be able to get all my medication and catheters on the NHS.  I read somewhere  that they were going to reduce the choice of catheters, I hope the soft ones I use are still on the list. 

I have to get back onto the register so that I can get a new blue badge as my French one is illegible and I need to apply for DLA and for Carers allowance for my husband and so the list goes on and I need to do this all immediately.  I have had to write a long list of all the stuff I must do straight away and it is getting longer and longer.

Added to this there is still lots of work to do on the house so I will be living in a building yard for about two years I suspect.  The last one took three and a half but I have been promised a bit more speed with this one.  At least 6 weeks without a wet room and 6 months without a workable kitchen!  Never mind all the rest that needs painting and decorating. 

And floors, what do you put on floors.  We have tiles here which have good and bad points but we have a suspended floor so no tiles in the new place.  Wood is nice but costs a fortune which I dont have and lino doesn't make me excited!!

Still it will be wonderful to be back near my old friends.  One is coming over the weekend after we arrive to help me with the cleaning!!  All the curtains have got to come down and either be washed or go to the cleaners and the floors, such as they are, all need cleaning.  We have so much to do, where to start???

I have just come indoors.  We are making so many plans for our return to the UK not least of all our farewell party which is now organised, invites gone out and menu confirmed.  Well we have been sitting outside and despite it being January 26 I am sunburnt.  Knees, arms and boobs!!  All this through my clothes!  So why are you going back to the UK you may well ask and on days like this I wonder myself. It must have been 20C out there and I know it was probably pouring with rain or blowing a gale back in dear old Blighty.  

I wonder if we should keep our house here, but it makes no economic sense to keep it.  Just a mill stone, worrying about upkeep and maintenance and a tie to spend every holiday from now on here.  Still I wonder.  I love the house and I love the place and we have lots of friends who are now begging us to stay.  But the call of fish and chips and warm beer are just too great.

I know that home should be wherever you lay your hat but that just doesn't take into account home sickness and the pull on your heart strings.  Also if you are ever wondering how it feels for that Polish family who live down the street from you, or the Lithuanian guy who shares your office and who puts custard on his dinner because it was there and it looked like mayonaisse, just ask me.  Being an immigrant can be a very lonely experience.  I will always be a Brit no matter where I am.

We have spent all week planning and deciding on what needs to be done to our new place and there is a lot including taking a wall and a floor out!  And we could stay here and do nothing and still be comfy!!   Still we are both counting and marking off the days on the calender.

I just hope I can get the health care I need, can still get DLA and a blue badge and a radar key.  I hope my new doctor is nice who ever he/she is and I hope they understand what Autonomic Dysreflexia is and what to do.  I hope I can still get all my medication and that my catheters are still available.  Sounds all very familiar to when we came out to France and all the worries I had then. Why put yourself through all this?  Sorry but it has to be that fish supper and the warm beer and the quiz nights and the blustery weather and the waiting lists and postcode lottery on health care and wheelchair services.

Now there's a challenge.  Wheelchair Services, the two words that are sure to make a chill pass through you and the hairs on your dysfunctional spine stand on end!!! 

Bring it on!!  that is what I say! 

Well I am back and have had a fairly busy time for the last couple of days. 

Firstly Ryanair and La Rochelle airport.  If you are going there and you a) can't walk b) are a large person, c) both of the above DON'T GO THERE!  There is no real assist onto the plane except to be carried up the steep steps by two well hunky and rather lovely firemen!!  Well believe me I am up for a bit of man handling but not the full carrying-up-the-stairs thing. Strange when you can't stand too well folk always grab hold of your arms?  So now no legs or arms!  Great.  Also Ryanair is a budget airline and it si budget with a capital B!  The seats are so close together that a sardine would feel a bit squeezed!  Plastic for a quick wipe down of the chocolate stains left by the previous occupier. 

Still it got me to Stansted.   Gate number 46 of about 60 it is at least 15 minutes walk from the terminal so a lot longer if you are pushing or trying to hold the luggage whilst the other half does the donkey work.  Anyway we arrived fine, queued up for our hire car and away we went in a rather swanky Mondeo estate.  Plenty of room for our case and my back sack.

As the plane had been delayed by about 30 mins we arrived at our hotel, Travel Lodge Eye Green Peterborough at about 9.30 pm and were pretty knackered.  We had thought we would go out for a longed for Indian but opted for the delivery service. Obviously our starved-of-spicey food eye were much large than our unacclimatised stomachs.  Having ordered the £19.95 dinner for two we were faced with Sheek Kebab, onion bajee, poppadoms, pickles, non bread rice, mushroom bajee, chicken jalfrezi and chicken tandoori massala (Britains favourite dish!).  We manages to borrow a couple of plates from the Little Chef next door (very nice man).  Anyway needless to say we could not eat even half of this feast and it ended up in the bin outside.

On the subject of Travel Lodges, thier disabled accessible rooms vary considerably.   Eye Green was good but a big room but a bath with a seat over it not so hot, why don't they install showers??  The one in Sutton Bridge was not so good, smaller room, toilet that was either built with a giraffe in mind or perhaps the late lamented Sir Edmund Hillary.  I nearly fell off.   Only a bath no seat so just a wash for me this morning.  Nice staff very friendly and I guess good value for money.  I have taken some photos of the room at Eye Green and will post them when Mark wakes up and downloads them for me (sorry techno phob!)

After we had pigged out we decided to go shopping to the all-night Tesco in Peterborough. i tell you my man really knows how to show me a good time!!  But it wasn't a cheap night out!

On Friday morning we went to my new house, both a bit nervous, him because he bought it without me seeing it and me because he bought it without me seeing it!!!  Anyway guys it is great.  Huge rooms, doors are a it tight for my chair but I have a narrower one I usually use indoors, pretty fireplaces all in all brilliant.  The bathrooms are not right and the kitchen is a total disaster area but we would have wanted to change things to suit me anyway so it is not a big problem.  The conservatory which Mark saw on a lovely day in the summer leaks like a sieve and has big puddles in it which is not good news still we are happy.  the people before kept dogs and it smells very doggy and is really dirty however it is nothing that can't be solved with the use of a mop and bucket and plenty of Mr Muscle.  Anyone fancy some good cleaning fun, just get in touch!!

We were met by my best mate Andrea and we drank too much champers as usual but at least we managed to measure the curtain poles and they had a nap in front of the fire!!

Coming back through Stansted today was a bit more of a horror. For information the new security checks can make it really slow getting through so  if you are passing through make sure you add extra time and also it is so far to the gates you need time for that.  Mark had his miniature Swiss Army Knife confiscated and they had to put all my hand wipes and creams into a bag.   The alarm went off in the Xray machine because of my calliper!!  Leading to a fairly intrusive search but I guess they are only doing their best to protect the public so complaints.  

Generally my visit to my new home has been an emotional and exhausting journey.   I am glad to be back in my little bungalow here in France but I can hardly wait to get to my new home in Lincs.